Exam time

i'm half dead from all this exam stress and studying and generally being awake during exam time, so i figured there was only one thing left to do.
no, not study for my two exams tomorrow.
no, not get to bed early so that i can refresh my mind.
no, not have a mental breakdown.
i figured i would blog. for a minute. to clear my mind and relax my forehead muscles. i just realized i was tense.

so, THIS is what exams are like. i forgot. i kind of liked it better that way, to tell you honestly. i mean, really. who the hell needs this? history wasn't so bad, but science is going to knock the living hell out of me.
molecule this, ion that, acid this, compound that.
fuck that shit.

i think i'll just go make some instant quaker oatmeal (that shit is like crack if you know how to work it) and study. save my sorry ass. thing is, studying makes me all nervous. where do i even begin? i've already reviewed with friends.
where to go? what to look over?
i feel as if it would just make me more confused.

PDA

(decided to switch the fonts up. just purple is BORING)

i'm just going to talk about PDA for a few minutes, because there are no current issues and i just need to rant.

so. for those of you who don't know, PDA stands for "public displays of affection".
what do i think about PDA?
a little peck from your boyfriend or girlfriend now and then is fine. no problem there. you're off the hook.
an abnormal amount of pecks from your boyfriend or girlfriend (one every 5-10 seconds) can get a little excessive, but people still tolerate it. they figure, "it's young love. they're allowed."
but when it gets to the point where you're just going at it like youre trying to activate the gag reflex, YOU HAVE TO STOP.

there's an unspoken rule that you cant just be sitting on a bench like you're in the fucking tunnel of love or some shit. THERE IS NO WALL THERE. WE CAN SEE YOU.

everyone understands that sometimes you need to show affection, but really. can't you just save up your saliva for later?
is it that difficult to keep your hands inside your pockets, people?

A time-saving realization

i really do wonder how many countless hours of our precious lives we spend worrying about matters that are completely out of our hands - matters that, even if we stay up all night staring at the ceiling and drooling, cannot be influenced for the moment.

if you think about it, what's the use of thinking about things that fall into that category?
i say, worrying is all an illusion.
sure, you can worry, but what in the world is that going to do for you? all that matters is what happens in the end - and only then can you influence what happens.
... when it actually happens.

people drive themselves CRAZY over things like
"what if this happens? then what?"
"what should i do in the event of this?"
"but what if i never get another chance?"
"how can i prepare myself?"

SHUT. UP. if you think these thoughts, youre just going to end up in a looney bin at a too-young age.
hear me out: why bother with that stuff? why waste your time with the what-ifs? why not just go out and live out the other parts of your life while the part that youre worrying about is untouchable?
it'll come around, don't worry. but until then, i'm sorry to say, no amount of thinking will make it arrive any faster.

Aaand ... nothing

do you know what really sucks?
anticipation, and then a really anticlimactic event.

when you're waiting for something, waiting for what seems like forever, and you're so hyped and ready that when you merely think about that thing, your heart starts pounding like hell. you build yourself up so much that the moment HAS to be perfect, or else you'll just be disappointing yourself - even if the whole thing is out of your control.

you prepare everything to the tee, you get ready, your timing is dead-on, and you're moving. you know that this one thing is going to be so fulfilling, the feeling of accomplishment will last you until the next morning.

the target approaches. your heart is in your throat and you're praying for your plan to work. your expression is blank but your mind is overflowing with "what if"s, and "this is it"s.
what if it doesnt work? well, this is it, so i guess im going to find out.

and then,
nothing.
the opportunity comes and passes, and the whole fairtytale vision just dies. you realize that everything you've orchestrated so intricately, everything that was so important to you, ended up being a dud.

so what do you do?
you rinse and repeat tomorrow.

The best feeling, or at least one of them

i'm just going to go ahead and describe the proceedings of a snow day.

the night before is where it begins. the changing of the facebook statuses, the checking of the weather websites, the excited chatter among friends: "pray for a snow day!"
you hope and you pray and you keep your fingers crossed all night.

then, you wake up.
the clock says 8:15, and you freak the hell out because you're like, "OH MY GOD I'M SO FUCKING LATE FOR SCHOOL!", not realizing what's going on.
you make your way downstairs, ready to yell at your mom for not waking you, when the white just blinds you.

you look through your windows, and a billion feet of snow are piled up high, snow still falling lightly from the sky.
everything hits you, and you run to the phone to call up your closest friends to tell them that "ITS A SNOW DAY, FUCKERS!"


will this happen tomorrow? we shall see.

In this day and age ...

Life can get confusing sometimes, especially when you're trying to figure out whether someone's insane or not.

In the world of bluetooth and barely-there headsets, when can you really tell whether or not someone is wacko? When you see someone walking down the street having an animated conversation with somebody who is clearly NOT by their side, how can you quickly tell if there's a little earpiece lodged in their ear?

You can never know, can you?
Well, if you have the opportunity, you can probably check very easily.
BUT STILL! The question remains.

Really though, screw bluetooth. How hard is it to hold a phone?
And how many times have you responded, with a confused short sentence, to somebody who seems to be talking to you - but is really talking on the phone?

Do you believe?

do you believe in signs? sometimes things in life are too coincidental to just happen for no reason, you know what i mean?
do you think that theres "someone out there" who sometimes tries to warn you, or help you out? it sounds really spiritual and weird and all that, but ...

i don't really believe in any of that kind of psycho crap, especially superstition. all the friday the 13th stuff, the black cats, walking under ladders. i was born on a friday the 13th, goddammit, imagine what kind of life i would have if i was superstitious.

but the whole sign thing.
it just seems weird sometimes - and it all depends on the way you interpret things, too. because for all you know, that "someone" might be trying to send you a message that you're just not getting because you don't think that deeply, or look that far.

just a thought!
i just wonder sometimes if coincidendce is really just a coincidence.