Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Exam time

i'm half dead from all this exam stress and studying and generally being awake during exam time, so i figured there was only one thing left to do.
no, not study for my two exams tomorrow.
no, not get to bed early so that i can refresh my mind.
no, not have a mental breakdown.
i figured i would blog. for a minute. to clear my mind and relax my forehead muscles. i just realized i was tense.

so, THIS is what exams are like. i forgot. i kind of liked it better that way, to tell you honestly. i mean, really. who the hell needs this? history wasn't so bad, but science is going to knock the living hell out of me.
molecule this, ion that, acid this, compound that.
fuck that shit.

i think i'll just go make some instant quaker oatmeal (that shit is like crack if you know how to work it) and study. save my sorry ass. thing is, studying makes me all nervous. where do i even begin? i've already reviewed with friends.
where to go? what to look over?
i feel as if it would just make me more confused.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

PDA

(decided to switch the fonts up. just purple is BORING)

i'm just going to talk about PDA for a few minutes, because there are no current issues and i just need to rant.

so. for those of you who don't know, PDA stands for "public displays of affection".
what do i think about PDA?
a little peck from your boyfriend or girlfriend now and then is fine. no problem there. you're off the hook.
an abnormal amount of pecks from your boyfriend or girlfriend (one every 5-10 seconds) can get a little excessive, but people still tolerate it. they figure, "it's young love. they're allowed."
but when it gets to the point where you're just going at it like youre trying to activate the gag reflex, YOU HAVE TO STOP.

there's an unspoken rule that you cant just be sitting on a bench like you're in the fucking tunnel of love or some shit. THERE IS NO WALL THERE. WE CAN SEE YOU.

everyone understands that sometimes you need to show affection, but really. can't you just save up your saliva for later?
is it that difficult to keep your hands inside your pockets, people?

Friday, December 12, 2008

A time-saving realization

i really do wonder how many countless hours of our precious lives we spend worrying about matters that are completely out of our hands - matters that, even if we stay up all night staring at the ceiling and drooling, cannot be influenced for the moment.

if you think about it, what's the use of thinking about things that fall into that category?
i say, worrying is all an illusion.
sure, you can worry, but what in the world is that going to do for you? all that matters is what happens in the end - and only then can you influence what happens.
... when it actually happens.

people drive themselves CRAZY over things like
"what if this happens? then what?"
"what should i do in the event of this?"
"but what if i never get another chance?"
"how can i prepare myself?"

SHUT. UP. if you think these thoughts, youre just going to end up in a looney bin at a too-young age.
hear me out: why bother with that stuff? why waste your time with the what-ifs? why not just go out and live out the other parts of your life while the part that youre worrying about is untouchable?
it'll come around, don't worry. but until then, i'm sorry to say, no amount of thinking will make it arrive any faster.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Aaand ... nothing

do you know what really sucks?
anticipation, and then a really anticlimactic event.

when you're waiting for something, waiting for what seems like forever, and you're so hyped and ready that when you merely think about that thing, your heart starts pounding like hell. you build yourself up so much that the moment HAS to be perfect, or else you'll just be disappointing yourself - even if the whole thing is out of your control.

you prepare everything to the tee, you get ready, your timing is dead-on, and you're moving. you know that this one thing is going to be so fulfilling, the feeling of accomplishment will last you until the next morning.

the target approaches. your heart is in your throat and you're praying for your plan to work. your expression is blank but your mind is overflowing with "what if"s, and "this is it"s.
what if it doesnt work? well, this is it, so i guess im going to find out.

and then,
nothing.
the opportunity comes and passes, and the whole fairtytale vision just dies. you realize that everything you've orchestrated so intricately, everything that was so important to you, ended up being a dud.

so what do you do?
you rinse and repeat tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The best feeling, or at least one of them

i'm just going to go ahead and describe the proceedings of a snow day.

the night before is where it begins. the changing of the facebook statuses, the checking of the weather websites, the excited chatter among friends: "pray for a snow day!"
you hope and you pray and you keep your fingers crossed all night.

then, you wake up.
the clock says 8:15, and you freak the hell out because you're like, "OH MY GOD I'M SO FUCKING LATE FOR SCHOOL!", not realizing what's going on.
you make your way downstairs, ready to yell at your mom for not waking you, when the white just blinds you.

you look through your windows, and a billion feet of snow are piled up high, snow still falling lightly from the sky.
everything hits you, and you run to the phone to call up your closest friends to tell them that "ITS A SNOW DAY, FUCKERS!"


will this happen tomorrow? we shall see.

Monday, December 8, 2008

In this day and age ...

Life can get confusing sometimes, especially when you're trying to figure out whether someone's insane or not.

In the world of bluetooth and barely-there headsets, when can you really tell whether or not someone is wacko? When you see someone walking down the street having an animated conversation with somebody who is clearly NOT by their side, how can you quickly tell if there's a little earpiece lodged in their ear?

You can never know, can you?
Well, if you have the opportunity, you can probably check very easily.
BUT STILL! The question remains.

Really though, screw bluetooth. How hard is it to hold a phone?
And how many times have you responded, with a confused short sentence, to somebody who seems to be talking to you - but is really talking on the phone?

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Do you believe?

do you believe in signs? sometimes things in life are too coincidental to just happen for no reason, you know what i mean?
do you think that theres "someone out there" who sometimes tries to warn you, or help you out? it sounds really spiritual and weird and all that, but ...

i don't really believe in any of that kind of psycho crap, especially superstition. all the friday the 13th stuff, the black cats, walking under ladders. i was born on a friday the 13th, goddammit, imagine what kind of life i would have if i was superstitious.

but the whole sign thing.
it just seems weird sometimes - and it all depends on the way you interpret things, too. because for all you know, that "someone" might be trying to send you a message that you're just not getting because you don't think that deeply, or look that far.

just a thought!
i just wonder sometimes if coincidendce is really just a coincidence.

Friday, December 5, 2008

"Those moments"

some things happen in your past that take you a little bit of time to put behind you. but, as time goes on, even if you thought you could never forget, the memory somehow slips away. you lock it up and replace it with something fresh.

but do you ever have one of those moments when something goes off in your mind and all the thoughts just come flooding back and settle like they never left? some kind of trigger breaks a barrier and there's no stopping the hole in your stomach from forming - sometimes, when you least expect it.

i would say that "those moments" are probably some of the worst feelings of all time. because just when you think that something is behind you, you realize that no matter how far back in time it might be, it can just swing right back around and hit you in the back of the head ... like a really bitchy revolving door.

it can really ruin your day, or however much of it remains, depending on what time it is. i mean, who likes to wallow in their past sorrows?

a "moment" happened to me today. hit me like a frying pan.
but i guess the only self-cure is to think of everything you've built since then, and how much you don't need that element of your past life anymore.
out with the old, in with the new?

(i feel like this post was really badly worded. whatever)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Ethics, or UNETHICAL?

i heard a lovely story in school today.
what makes it not so lovely is the fact that my ethics teacher was the one that was telling it to us.
you tell ME if you think that students should be exposed to this craziness:

"so, back when i was in university, i was at this party. i met this girl, we hit it off, i thought things were totally cool between us, right? so i invited her back to my place. now, it was like, three in the morning, so you would think that she would have known that we weren't exactly going to go play jeopardy or something, right?"
*laughter from class*
"so we get there, and i make a move on her. and she's all like, 'HUH?' she was totally shocked!"

... well then. that's the tale of the times (i think i just invented an expression). i now have yet another story to add to my inventory of "things about my ethics teacher's sex life". SCORE!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

You Can Say THAT Again.

i'm going to take a poll, even though i don't really care what anybody else says, because i already know the right answer (even though some would argue that there is no "right answer")

is it possible to have a thing for somebody you've never spoken to for? somebody whose name you don't know?

as i said, i already know the answer, and the answer is yes, so if you answered no, you lose.

it's quite frustrating, actually, so i suggest that if you're one of the blind people who doesn't believe in all that, i don't suggest you start.
it doesn't really matter what the allure is, it just matters that it's there. could be the way they carry themself, something about their looks, something original about the way they dress, you name it. and if you can't pinpoint it, you'll still know that the curiosity is there. you feel it.

i wonder which is more frustrating, though; seeing them once and assuming youll never see them again, or knowing that youll see them again (for example, they go to a school, so you know which bus they get on after school). if you know theyll be there, you might find yourself running around like a maniac, trying to catch that one bus, so to speak.

this applies more to the one-time person, but in any case, you ask yourself; what would happen if you ever saw them again? what would you do?


A NOTE FROM OUR SPONSORS: be careful out there, kids. chances are you won't get raped if you happen to get picked up, but people are fucking assholes who are quite good at lying. and don't be fooled by their charm. the charmers are the killers. (not literally, don't freak out)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Shakespeare

is it just me, or does nobody understand shakespeare?
i mean, really. is this guy on crack? what the fuck is he talking about anyway? all this bla bla about fair maidens and love and death. does anybody really get it?

i saw a shakespeare play tonight that my school put on. i understood a solid half of it, which REALLY isn't bad. i almost knew what each character's name was, so thats progress ...
when they did macbeth last year, during intermission i asked a friend why macbeth wasn't in the play.
it turns out that he was.
but i had no idea what was going on, so how was i supposed to know?

someone should just modernize all shakespeare plays. im sure theyre lovely scripts, but really, dont lie, i know that all of you have been on "no fear shakespeare" (the sparknotes division) if youve ever had to read one of his many plays.

Monday, December 1, 2008

The Effective Way to Work

do you know what's great?
cramming.

i just did some myself, and now at 11:27 pm, i'm still not done my work, and i won't be finishing it until tomorrow. AKA the day it's due.
oh wait, did i say that cramming is good?

i meant to say that it SUCKS SHIT AND YOU SHOULD NEVER PROCRASTINATE LIKE ME.
just don't do it, kids. it's not good for you OR your report card ... unless you can pull off that kind of thing.
but here i am, tired as a ... whatever the fuck ... and i still have work to do that's simply not going to get done today. i guess that's what lunch is for. you would think that it would be simply for eating, but that's only a fraction of the possibilities.
it's like how us humans only use 10% of our brain capacity.

i'm just gonna go ahead and sleep, i've already packed it in for the day! what an unfulfilling feeling, going to bed not having done your work. ugh. yuck. good day.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Snow, and lots of it

so, i decided to change it up a bit and blog about something that i actually like -

tonight was the first real snow! the sticky kind, the kind you make snowballs with. it's so exciting. you look out your window and all you see is a blizzard of white streaks blowing in every direction. you watch the snow slowly create a white layer on the ground.

it's so exciting!

the whole thing makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. people start putting up their christmas lights, you start wearing warm socks inside, you start drinking more tea and hot chocolate, your cheeks get all rosy when you come in from the cold, and if youre lucky, you can even be pleasantly surprised when a snow day comes around and you didn't even remotely finish the homework from the night before.

i mean, sure, winter also means scraping ice off your windshield, falling on your ass when you step on an unexpected patch of ice, and getting wet snowballs thrown in your face, but really - you've gotta love it, eh?

so get your ice picks, it's begun.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Getting wings ... or not

wow. screw parental authority.
do you know where ALL my friends are right now? at a concert. having fun. partying. whatever you want to call it. and where am i? sitting at home blogging about how much it sucks that i can't go out, all because my mommy says that i have to stay home.

why do i have to stay home, you ask? in her words,
"i don't like the area where the concert is being held"
"you're too young to be doing that kind of thing"
"i don't feel comfortable with you being out so late"
"they're serving alcohol there"
"there are crazy people out there"

FUCK THAT SHIT, OKAY?! do you even know how depressing this is? it's depressing, let me tell you. i could be running around putting my face on right now. but no, i'm moping at home instead, still in my school uniform.

i think that people really underestimate the maturity of people my age. i'm not even a tween anymore, i'm not some pre-pubescent twelve year old, i'm already well into my teen years. so who's to say that i cant go to a stupid concert with a group of friends?
just because i'm going out downtown doesnt mean that i'm going to end up a non-virgin, cut into a thousand little pieces.

i'll bet everyone who read this 10 bucks that all my friends come home safe and sound. ten bucks. anyone up for it?

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Classified

you know what i hate? when people try to classify a genre of music, but they do it all wrong and just end up looking like idiots.
for example,
i like metal. not all my music is metal, but some of it is. and people are constantly telling me that they dont understand "my music", because all it is is a guy screaming.

WRONG!
first of all, i'm not even a screamo fan. i like songs with melodic qualities, and screamo does not float my boat. some screaming in a song is alright, but only if it's ... tasteful. i dont know.
bottom line, my hard rock is not screamo.

so that just pisses me off. people who think they know everything about a certain genre, sum it up in one line, get it all wrong, and then wave you off when you try to prove them wrong. it pushes my buttons, i'll tell you. so, people:
PLEASE DO NOT ASSUME THAT JUST BECAUSE ONE SONG THAT YOU HEARD OF A CERTAIN GENRE SOUNDS LIKE A SPECIFIC THING, THEN THE WHOLE GENRE MUST BE THAT WAY.

that just makes you stupid and closed- minded :)

oh, and about that math test. the entire class thought they did horribly, so my teacher decided not to count it. uh, YES!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Kill math

we should all just get together and kill math.
i mean really. why the hell do i need to know when an inequality holds true or not? why do i need to know how to write the answer in interval form?
when i'm sitting behind a desk working the 9 to 5, i'm not going to be using quadratic functions and the cartesian plane.

i had a math test today.
projected mark: 20%

we'll see. i mean, who knows what ill get? i can't do the math.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

People are retarded

okay, so i've concluded that a large percentage of people that we all walk by daily are secretly retarded.

today on the bus, these punks tried to pick a fight with me and my friends. out of nowhere. actually. we didn't provoke it, nothing.
i was trying to get off because it was my stop, so i asked them to move, and this little grade seven nothing starts mimicking me! so i look back at my friends and we all start to laugh, but him and his gang start badmouthing me in french/other weird language right in front of my face! they're just laughing hysterically and mocking me as i'm watching them.

i got home, and my friends called me shortly after telling me that these girls started something with them, and they ended up getting into a big verbal fight right there on the bus!

so, there are two things that we can get out of this story.
1. who do people think they are?
2. people need to get a life
and really, kids these days. i don't know why, but they just seem to think that they're all that. especially when they're with their other loser friends. they don't really understand that they look like big fools when they pop their little collars and try to start shit.

FUCK THEM :) they need to learn their manners.
ta-ta for now.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The First One

well well, my very first blog post.
this is going to be shit.
first and foremost, if any of you out there get offended by rude language, i suggest you leave. i'm not making any promises here, but chances are that there will be a lot of the "f word" seen here over time.

so. i never thought that i would actually start a blog. i'm pretty sure none of my friends have one (double life?), and really, what do i have to say about the world? maybe i'll surprise myself.
i figure that each post will be some kind of rant about humanity, or at least something that happened during my day. well, except for this one. The First One is usually special.
but yeah, i'm good at ranting. i wouldn't call it a talent, so let's say it's an asset, shall we?

wow, i almost deleted this entire entry just now. i'm sure that will be happening a lot as time goes on (if i really do end up keeping this blog).

so ENJOY, hopefully you'll get something out of this (not like many people will ever read it, but whoever the hell you are out there, i hope you've had a nice day).