Aaand ... nothing

do you know what really sucks?
anticipation, and then a really anticlimactic event.

when you're waiting for something, waiting for what seems like forever, and you're so hyped and ready that when you merely think about that thing, your heart starts pounding like hell. you build yourself up so much that the moment HAS to be perfect, or else you'll just be disappointing yourself - even if the whole thing is out of your control.

you prepare everything to the tee, you get ready, your timing is dead-on, and you're moving. you know that this one thing is going to be so fulfilling, the feeling of accomplishment will last you until the next morning.

the target approaches. your heart is in your throat and you're praying for your plan to work. your expression is blank but your mind is overflowing with "what if"s, and "this is it"s.
what if it doesnt work? well, this is it, so i guess im going to find out.

and then,
nothing.
the opportunity comes and passes, and the whole fairtytale vision just dies. you realize that everything you've orchestrated so intricately, everything that was so important to you, ended up being a dud.

so what do you do?
you rinse and repeat tomorrow.