"Those moments"

some things happen in your past that take you a little bit of time to put behind you. but, as time goes on, even if you thought you could never forget, the memory somehow slips away. you lock it up and replace it with something fresh.

but do you ever have one of those moments when something goes off in your mind and all the thoughts just come flooding back and settle like they never left? some kind of trigger breaks a barrier and there's no stopping the hole in your stomach from forming - sometimes, when you least expect it.

i would say that "those moments" are probably some of the worst feelings of all time. because just when you think that something is behind you, you realize that no matter how far back in time it might be, it can just swing right back around and hit you in the back of the head ... like a really bitchy revolving door.

it can really ruin your day, or however much of it remains, depending on what time it is. i mean, who likes to wallow in their past sorrows?

a "moment" happened to me today. hit me like a frying pan.
but i guess the only self-cure is to think of everything you've built since then, and how much you don't need that element of your past life anymore.
out with the old, in with the new?

(i feel like this post was really badly worded. whatever)

Ethics, or UNETHICAL?

i heard a lovely story in school today.
what makes it not so lovely is the fact that my ethics teacher was the one that was telling it to us.
you tell ME if you think that students should be exposed to this craziness:

"so, back when i was in university, i was at this party. i met this girl, we hit it off, i thought things were totally cool between us, right? so i invited her back to my place. now, it was like, three in the morning, so you would think that she would have known that we weren't exactly going to go play jeopardy or something, right?"
*laughter from class*
"so we get there, and i make a move on her. and she's all like, 'HUH?' she was totally shocked!"

... well then. that's the tale of the times (i think i just invented an expression). i now have yet another story to add to my inventory of "things about my ethics teacher's sex life". SCORE!

You Can Say THAT Again.

i'm going to take a poll, even though i don't really care what anybody else says, because i already know the right answer (even though some would argue that there is no "right answer")

is it possible to have a thing for somebody you've never spoken to for? somebody whose name you don't know?

as i said, i already know the answer, and the answer is yes, so if you answered no, you lose.

it's quite frustrating, actually, so i suggest that if you're one of the blind people who doesn't believe in all that, i don't suggest you start.
it doesn't really matter what the allure is, it just matters that it's there. could be the way they carry themself, something about their looks, something original about the way they dress, you name it. and if you can't pinpoint it, you'll still know that the curiosity is there. you feel it.

i wonder which is more frustrating, though; seeing them once and assuming youll never see them again, or knowing that youll see them again (for example, they go to a school, so you know which bus they get on after school). if you know theyll be there, you might find yourself running around like a maniac, trying to catch that one bus, so to speak.

this applies more to the one-time person, but in any case, you ask yourself; what would happen if you ever saw them again? what would you do?


A NOTE FROM OUR SPONSORS: be careful out there, kids. chances are you won't get raped if you happen to get picked up, but people are fucking assholes who are quite good at lying. and don't be fooled by their charm. the charmers are the killers. (not literally, don't freak out)

Shakespeare

is it just me, or does nobody understand shakespeare?
i mean, really. is this guy on crack? what the fuck is he talking about anyway? all this bla bla about fair maidens and love and death. does anybody really get it?

i saw a shakespeare play tonight that my school put on. i understood a solid half of it, which REALLY isn't bad. i almost knew what each character's name was, so thats progress ...
when they did macbeth last year, during intermission i asked a friend why macbeth wasn't in the play.
it turns out that he was.
but i had no idea what was going on, so how was i supposed to know?

someone should just modernize all shakespeare plays. im sure theyre lovely scripts, but really, dont lie, i know that all of you have been on "no fear shakespeare" (the sparknotes division) if youve ever had to read one of his many plays.

The Effective Way to Work

do you know what's great?
cramming.

i just did some myself, and now at 11:27 pm, i'm still not done my work, and i won't be finishing it until tomorrow. AKA the day it's due.
oh wait, did i say that cramming is good?

i meant to say that it SUCKS SHIT AND YOU SHOULD NEVER PROCRASTINATE LIKE ME.
just don't do it, kids. it's not good for you OR your report card ... unless you can pull off that kind of thing.
but here i am, tired as a ... whatever the fuck ... and i still have work to do that's simply not going to get done today. i guess that's what lunch is for. you would think that it would be simply for eating, but that's only a fraction of the possibilities.
it's like how us humans only use 10% of our brain capacity.

i'm just gonna go ahead and sleep, i've already packed it in for the day! what an unfulfilling feeling, going to bed not having done your work. ugh. yuck. good day.

Snow, and lots of it

so, i decided to change it up a bit and blog about something that i actually like -

tonight was the first real snow! the sticky kind, the kind you make snowballs with. it's so exciting. you look out your window and all you see is a blizzard of white streaks blowing in every direction. you watch the snow slowly create a white layer on the ground.

it's so exciting!

the whole thing makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. people start putting up their christmas lights, you start wearing warm socks inside, you start drinking more tea and hot chocolate, your cheeks get all rosy when you come in from the cold, and if youre lucky, you can even be pleasantly surprised when a snow day comes around and you didn't even remotely finish the homework from the night before.

i mean, sure, winter also means scraping ice off your windshield, falling on your ass when you step on an unexpected patch of ice, and getting wet snowballs thrown in your face, but really - you've gotta love it, eh?

so get your ice picks, it's begun.

Getting wings ... or not

wow. screw parental authority.
do you know where ALL my friends are right now? at a concert. having fun. partying. whatever you want to call it. and where am i? sitting at home blogging about how much it sucks that i can't go out, all because my mommy says that i have to stay home.

why do i have to stay home, you ask? in her words,
"i don't like the area where the concert is being held"
"you're too young to be doing that kind of thing"
"i don't feel comfortable with you being out so late"
"they're serving alcohol there"
"there are crazy people out there"

FUCK THAT SHIT, OKAY?! do you even know how depressing this is? it's depressing, let me tell you. i could be running around putting my face on right now. but no, i'm moping at home instead, still in my school uniform.

i think that people really underestimate the maturity of people my age. i'm not even a tween anymore, i'm not some pre-pubescent twelve year old, i'm already well into my teen years. so who's to say that i cant go to a stupid concert with a group of friends?
just because i'm going out downtown doesnt mean that i'm going to end up a non-virgin, cut into a thousand little pieces.

i'll bet everyone who read this 10 bucks that all my friends come home safe and sound. ten bucks. anyone up for it?